I hate to admit that when I feel a negative emotion, I tend to lead with frustration or annoyance. To be honest, sometimes I feel just plain old anger! How do I get myself to the boiling point where I feel like I might explode all over those I care most about – even my husband? 

If you’ve ever had a similar struggle, you may even wallow in these feelings for a long time. You simply don’t have time to stay stuck in low vibration emotions for very long because they drive away the spirit. What is a low vibration emotion you may ask? Let me explain…

Many people have heard of frequencies regarding the calibrations developed by David Hawkins, M.D. His “Map of Consciousness” is often cited and shared as a guideline for emotional frequencies from his book Power Vs. Force. As a scientist, he found a way to measure the frequencies of emotions or rather the state of being or experiencing these emotions.

Based on the calibrations of David Hawkins, shame holds the lowest frequency at a calibration of 20. Anger is the catalyst to support the transition from lower frequencies to the more positive emotions of pride and courage. Love is calibrated at a 500 frequency with peace, joy, and enlightenments at even higher levels. 

Dr. Hawkins, M.D. suggests that 200 is the average frequency on the planet. Most Western middle-class individuals are closer to a 300 or even 400 frequency if they have evolved personally.

The Problem with Lower Frequencies

The problem with staying in lower frequencies too long is they can cause emotional, relationship, financial, and even health issues due to changing the healthy vibration of cells, tissues, and organs in our bodies.

Staying in lower vibration emotions also causes the spirit to withdraw!

As we work on self-improvement or overcoming a bad habit, our frequency calibration goes up and we have the Holy Ghost more as the constant companion promised in the baptismal covenant of members in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What keeps us from raising our frequency overall may be hidden, ignored, or even subconscious and is definitely under the influence of Satan.

Hopefully, you’ve discovered some ways to get out of anger, frustration, or annoyance. The rest of this article will share ideas to keep us from going there in the first place.

 

How to we have the Spirit of the Lord with us?

 

1) Stand in Holy Places.

Elder Ronald A. Rasband of The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles teaches us:

First, stand in holy places. When we stand in holy places—our righteous homes, our dedicated chapels, the consecrated temples—we feel the Spirit of the Lord with us.

In regards to our negative emotions, he further explains:

Think about it. When we are tentative in our commitments to the Lord, when we stray from His path leading to life eternal, when we question or doubt our significance in His divine design, when we allow fear to open the door to all its companions—discouragement, anger, frustration, disappointment—the Spirit leaves us, and we are without the Lord. If you know what that is like, you know it is not a good place to be. In contrast, when we stand in holy places, we can feel God’s love, and “perfect love casteth out all fear.” (1)

My husband and I attended the temple almost monthly whenever possible for many years. When my husband was privileged to have a 4-day work week, we were able to attend twice a month and counted that for our date night those weeks. The love and spirit that infused into our hearts from being within the temple allowed us to have more unity, a deeper connection, and definitely less tendency to get angry or frustrated with each other. Time in the temple helped us develop the blessing of teamwork.

I testify, as does Elder Rasband, that we our blessed with an abundance of God’s love and spirit as we stand in righteous homes, attend our sacrament meetings, or attend the temple whenever possible. This love and the Spirit we feel in holy places transfers into love for our self, spouse, family, and fellow man and minimizes the tendency to feel those low vibration feelings.

2) Do not run faster than you have strength.

Overwhelm can quickly turn into anger when we are doing too much. Sometimes a demanding schedule is not of our choice like caring for a terminally ill family member, but often it is. Thus the scripture found in Mosiah 4:27:

“And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.”

Consider your life’s priorities. Make a list of what is most important to you in life. Then track your time for a few weeks to see if you are giving adequate attention to those things that matter most. 

Whether you are in alignment with your priorities or not, if you feel overwhelmed on occasion, look for those lower priority activities and commitments that you can let go of. This will reduce anger and frustration that can come from overbooking your ideal life.

You would think that my husband would be a priority in my life. However, I remember when we were first married and had a few children that we somehow became disconnected. Even though I was a stay-at-home mom at the time, I spend all of my time caring for our children and our house. 

My husband did not feel like a priority. Once he said to me, “You seem to spend all of your time caring for the children and do not have any time left for me.” 

That was a wake up call! I decided then and there to make sure and put my husband into my schedule.

Even now as grandparents with our children all grown, we schedule a weekly date night as a sacred and necessary part of our routine.

 

3) A Favorite Tip for Reducing Overwhelm

To not run faster than we have strength, we need to be ok with and understand the power of saying “No.” Each time we say “Yes,” even when it may be to serve or help others, we are saying “No” to other things.

A limiting lie has been spread around regarding service. It is the idea that we must ALWAYS say “Yes” to help and serve others and ALWAYS put others’ needs before our own. When you say “Yes” to someone or something, you may be saying “No” to your own family or your own self-care.

Power of “NO” phrases that are very helpful:

 

“I am sorry. I would love to but am currently…”

 

“No, I can’t. I am committed elsewhere OR overextended.”

 

Whether it’s telling a business associate, neighbor, family member, or even my husband “No” to something, it’s helps keep me somewhat calm and avoid going into overwhelm. This doesn’t mean we give ourselves permission to be lazy or serve and sacrifice when needed. But as we focus on our life’s priorities, we can have more peace.

Learning to live a balanced life takes practice and can keep me – and YOU – from feeling overwhelmed. Going into overwhelm is a sure-fire to stir up feelings of frustration and anger. Then we may need a fire-extinguisher to put out the flames!

 

30-minute Complimentary Life Coach Call

Need more ideas to overcome feelings of anger, depression, sadness, guilt, or fear? Or would you like some guidance and support with a marriage struggle? Book a 30-minute complimentary life coaching call at this link.

This is not a sales call and will give you valuable insights, clarity, and direction towards improving your life!

 

 

Maurice W. Harker, the head therapist at Life Changing Services, has a unique way of teaching about the adversary’s strategies to deceive and weaken ourselves and relationships. Learn how to develop keen awareness of the adversary’s influence in this free best-selling book “Like Dragons Did They Fight” available here for download: FREE BOOK

 

  1. Be Not Troubled, Ronald A. Rasband, October 2018 General Conference