Why did my husband think I didn’t love him?


I never said I didn’t love him. I especially never said, “I hate you!”

But somehow my husband had listened to the lies that a destructive voice put into his head over the years…and it wasn’t HIS voice.

Somehow he felt unloved, unwanted, and unneeded.

He had gone from telling our bishop (church leader) that the only thing right in his life was the relationship with his wife…

to feeling like he was disconnected from me and that our marriage was dying. 

The Voice of Lies and Limiting Beliefs

My husband had been listening to the lies that Lucifer, fallen “Son of the Morning,” had told him for years. Those thoughts – impressed on his mind from the true enemy – caused depression and havoc in our marriage!

“But wait!” you may say. “Satan can’t put thoughts into our minds.”

It seems unfair that a being without a body could put thoughts into our minds. Some may be concerned that Satan can even read our thoughts.

The scriptures tell us that “there is none else save God that knowest thy thoughts and the intents of thy heart” (D&C 6:16). So Satan doesn’t actually know what you’re thinking.

But after thousands of years of practice, he is pretty good at reading body language, taking our pain and anguish, and intensifying it with his subtle impressions. These influences are similar to heavenly impressions we receive from the Holy Spirit.

How Does Satan Put Thoughts into Our Minds?

“All messages, impressions, suggestions, urges, encouragements or discouragements, feelings, temptations, and warnings sent from the other side of the veil, whether from diety or Satan, are communicated directly to the spirit, which then relays the information to our mortal, conscious minds as thoughts, impressions, and feelings.

When we understand  the mechanics of this communication, we will be better prepared to recognize and resist Satanic deceptions and to respond to the whisperings of the Spirit sent from the Lord.” (1)


A Missionary’s Near Death Experience

We can see the mechanics of this information-transfer from the spiritual realm to the physical in the account of Brigham Smoot, a missionary who served in the Samoan islands in the 1800s.

He was persuaded by the other missionaries to go wading in the ocean as it was the only way for bathing. Unfortunately, there was a deep hole in the reef, and this missionary didn’t know how to swim.

Spiritual Communication Saved His Life


Elder Smoot stepped into this hole and disappeared from view. The other elders panicked wondering what happened to him. It was quite some time before they found him at the bottom of the hole and dragged his body to the beach.

There was no pulse and no breathing. He was dead. Frantically, the missionaries tried to revive him with no success. As they were about to give up in despair, his companion Elder Wood, told the other missionaries that he felt inspired that the only was the elder’s spirit could re-enter his body would be to administer to him.

After administering a blessing, Elder Smoot’s spirit did return to the body, and they all felt his life return. Elder Smoot then sat up, quite well and normal, and proceeded to tell them everything that had happened while his body was dead.

He told them how, as a disembodied spirit, he had stood on the beach and watched them search for his body. He told of watching them work to revive him. Realizing they weren’t going to be successful, he went to his companion, Elder Wood, touched him on the shoulder and spoke to him, telling him that the only way to bring life back into his body was to use the priesthood.

Of course, Elder Wood was not aware of the touch, because a mortal body of flesh cannot feel a spiritual body. Nor was he consciously aware of hearing his dead companion speak to him.

But the dead elder wasn’t speaking to Elder Wood’s conscious mind, he was speaking spirit-to-spirit. When Elder Wood’s spirit heard the message from the dead elder, it transferred the information into his conscious mind and this was when Elder Wood felt impressed, or inspired, to use the priesthood.

A Spiritual Being Can Speak to Mortal Man

This missionary experience demonstrates that a spiritual being can speak to a mortal man and cause thoughts to occur in his conscious mind, even though the individual is not consciously aware of the communication or the source of the ideas.


Unless we are on guard, Satan can talk to our spirits without us even being aware of it!

The Adversary had Slyly Placed Lies…

which I like to call fiery darts – into my husband’s mind that I didn’t love him. The more these thoughts came, the more evidence my husband found to support these deceptive thoughts.


Satan’s lies can put distance between us and a loving God. Lies had put distance between my husband and me – his wife who sincerely loved him.


Living marriage in this manner is no fun, nor is it healthy. And, it is completely unnecessary!

Tips to Discern the 3 Voices in a Healthy Mind:


1 – Our Own Voiceis often questioning life such as: Should I fast this weekend OR should I go say my prayers right now? Our own voice is also the Planning Voice – The one that plans to have a good day or to be successful. Our voice puts together actual plans to accomplish the things we feel inspired to do.

2- God through Holy Ghost or Angels (Elder Smoot was an angel!) This voice is an absolute voice or impression such as “I should pray or I should fast or I should call that friend or neighbor.” When we act upon God’s guidance, he trusts us and can send even more revelation as we seek to do His will.

This is a voice of love, faith, peace, light and of Godly sorrow when we step off the path.  This voice invites us to  connect or reconnect in a healthy way when we become lost or are drifting due to poor choices.

3- Satan through his influence or minions. This is the voice of fear, shame, lack, and disconnection. Thoughts that cause negative feelings about ourselves and others, contention, confusion, and disunity are surely from the adversary.

This voice usually bombards us with all the reasons why we should OR shouldn’t do something. If it’s time for prayer a parent might think, “We should have prayer, but my wife already went to bed OR everyone is too busy to stop right now OR you will ruin the peace and everyone will get upset if we get together right now for prayer!”

Generally, God will only speak or influence us once or twice. Satan will give us many, many reasons or thoughts of why we should or shouldn’t do something.

Sometimes God will give us repeated feelings or thoughts when it’s something very urgent, but mostly it truly is the still small whisperings of the Holy Ghost. Satan will be persistent in giving us  loud and urgent reasons of why we should or shouldn’t do something.

Satan Cannot Seduce Us Unless…

So, when it comes to your thoughts, the devil has only as much influence as you’re willing to give him. The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “Satan cannot seduce us by his enticements unless we in our hearts consent and yield” (Teachings: Joseph Smith, 213). He also said, “The devil has no power over us only as we permit him” (214).

The biggest challenge may be our skills in perceiving the enticings or whisperings of the adversary. You may have been taught how to listen or be in tune with the impressions, feelings, or whisperings of the Holy Ghost, but may not have been trained in being aware of the enemy’s manipulative tactics.


Do you want to start winning your battles against the true enemy? Are you looking for ways to boost and strengthen your marriage?

Get 4 Secrets from The Marriage Academy with the free eBook offer below, and start learning how to discern the voices in your head that lead to a happy marriage or miserable marriage.


(1) – Quote and adapted story from “Putting on the Armor of God” by Steven A. Cramer (pgs. 28-30)



Maurice W. Harker, the head therapist at Life Changing Services, has a unique way of teaching about the adversary’s strategies to deceive and weaken ourselves and relationships. Learn how to develop keen awareness of the adversary’s influence in this free best-selling book “Like Dragons Did They Fight” available here for download: FREE BOOK